annoyed. and not the most coherent.

Ok, it's father's day, and i was a bad daughter today cause i didn't do anything with/for my dad. so i really have no right to be disappointed in others. but i'm more than slightly annoyed right now, and need to vent.

besides, i did redeem myself a bit by making my dad lunch. so i wasn't a complete failure.

sorry, to the point: recently a few of the people i consider very close, if not best friends, have been flaky, disappointing and therefore annoying. when you say you're going to call, CALL. when we make plans way in advance to hang out, don't blow me off at the last minute. not only are you taking our friendship for granted, but you're making it clear that our friendship isn't a priority, cause other things can just 'come up' and easily push our plans to the backseat. i'm not an anal person. i wouldn't usually consider this a big deal. but the friends in question a) don't make any effort to catch up with me on a regular basis in the first place, and b) this is not the first or second offence, we're talking strikes 4, 5....8.

while i was turning this whole situation around in my mind, something clicked. somewhere in the folds of my brain, there is a hierarchical categorization of my relationships, and it suddenly occurred to me that my lump category of "best friends" (how middle school, right?) is actually two very distinct categories. i realized the difference between a truly good friend and someone you just happen to get along with really well.

yes there are the friends you just click with. you can talk for hours, and have no qualms asking for their advice on your most personal problems. you have a great time partying and grabbing meals together, you have at least a thousand inside jokes, and if it's been a while, it's easy to pick up where you left off, as if you just talked to them yesterday.

but with good friends, you DID talk to them yesterday. and the day before. because they call you and you call them without reason. "sorry i didn't have time" is non-existent. friendship takes effort, and good friends make that effort. but the thing is, it doesn't feel like work cause it's just second nature. it's not something you have to plan in advance or add to your to-do list. and every time you talk, you don't have to explain "the whole story" to them because they already know it. you can count on them to drop everything and rush to your side whenever you need them. AND they're damn fun to be around.

there's a level of intimacy, comfort, and loyalty in the knowledge that you're a priority to someone, and that he or she truly has your best interest at heart. one of my best friends does not mind if i'm so busy that i can't touch bases with her until 3,4 at night. she actually makes me call her in the middle of the night to talk rather than wait till the next time we're both free, cause we know that time will never come. it's very selfless and touching when you think about it, and i'm so blessed to have friends like that in my life. currently my two bests are both hundreds of miles away, but we talk nearly every day. to think of them, and how much i value their friendship makes the whole annoyance at the other friends vanish.

it's late, this was long, and believe it or not, i have more to say on friendship. well, comparing friendship with relationships. it's been a think-y weekend. next time.

i love you aep and ocm.