it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

2007 in 12:

1. i mourned the loss of my best pal, bailey

2. visited the motherland

3. i got alcohol poisoning in tahoe. i also had the time of my life.

4. fuck valentines day

5. my mama got really, really sick.

6. i lead a team of 30 to, uhh, non-victory...but i did the leading. and i learned a lot.

7. psychology b.a., business administration, b.s. <--i earned 'em.

8. i turned 22.

9. summer travel [napa, hawaii, seattle, tennessee, chicago]

10. i moved to los angeles and joined the working world

11. i bought my first car. on my own!

12. first holiday partay, haha



my pal h_balls says, "2008 is going to a be a good year, i can feel it."

i hope he's on to something.

lemme lemme upgrade you

hey direct tv, way to mesmerize and confuse folks at the same time!




every time this promo ad comes on while i'm watching tv with other people, it is inevitable that one or more people in the group will comment on it:

"wow, she can really move"
"is she really talking while she's doing this?"
"why would a big star like beyonce be a spokesperson for direct tv?"
"do you think the talking part is computer-animated?"
"damn she looks good"
"woah there, GOLDmember"
"what was that ad even about?"

i don't even know where i'm going with this.
it's late. so late that Showtime at the Apollo (wtf is this show about anyway?) is on.

all i know is people from all walks of life are drawn to this ad and baffled by it. i wonder if it's serving its purpose.


* * *

so as you can see, le "blog" has also undergone (underwent?) an upgrade.
an upgrade to a color scheme i like to call "puke-tastic."

if only i had some html skillz, or whatever skillz are required to make this thing look boss, i'd blow you away with my creativity. too bad i don't...but it's on the resolution 2008 list, i swear. so until i acquire said skillz, i apologize.

last night

i spent time with an old friend. arguably one of my best friends, but someone i hadn't seen in over 6 months. and at that time, i hadn't seen him in over a year. and at that time, i hadn't spoken to him in over 3 years.

i said, "it seems like forever since we were in high school"
he said, "when i'm with you, it feels like it was yesterday"

that was unsettling. i kept thinking about it the rest of the night...we talked for 6 hours straight, about everything we possibly could talk about, and that was the only thing that bothered me.

i guess it's because in my mind, i've changed. big time. i feel like the last 4 years of my life have completely transformed me.
for one, i curse like a sailor now. then there's that s.kitten thing. i also came back an alcoholic. i also came back 10 lbs heavier because i became an alcoholic.

then there are the things i stopped doing. like music. and reading. and dance.
ooh dance, that one kills me.
as much as i've let myself down by not continuing dance, i feel like i've let others around me down even more.
like my pal. he thought the sole reason I’d move back to LA would be to continue dance. in fact, he was actually sad that i hadn't kept up.

"you were at your happiest when you talked about your dance," he said. "your whole face would light up."

i remember that feeling. and how much dress rehearsals were like my drug. and it kind of bums me out that my college and post-college friends never met that me. the one who's life revolved around dance and performing arts. the one who was actually passionate about something.

i was complaining last night, because he's the only one who really listens. and i basically told him that i'm in a rut. i've come to the realization that if money is supposed to be the incentive for pushing myself and doing well in the working world, i'm not going to succeed. so we discussed my options.

one is to look for happiness and interests outside of work. this is easily found, but very difficult to keep up. i know that continuing dance would be a BIG step in the right direction. but getting the time to make rehearsals in oc, perform on weekends, and continually work out is impossible in my line of work. something would have to give. and that something would be time with friends, and definitely sleep. It might be worth it.

one is to take a detour. to step off the beaten path and try something unrelated to the corporate grind. that's easier said than done. moving to LA, and not knowing anyone has been TOUGH. much harder than i thought, and i'm a pretty social, easy-going person. if anyone can make friends, i can. i’m just having a real hard time finding them. and to pick up and move somewhere i really don't know anyone or go into a field where i have no contacts...big risk. but no risk, no reward, i guess. so if I’m still bored in a year…who knows.

one is to suck it up.

So at least I know now that I have options, and I don’t have to sit around and blame life for being ambiguously shitty. Seriously, for the last month I’ve been feeling really down, and without a clue as to why. And that’s not like me.

But then he showed up, and I talked. And even though he did a good job listening, I finally heard myself.

I’m lonely
I’m bored
It happens sometimes.

And I probably won’t see him again for another 6 months.

omfg

jan 8th.

they're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

*and season 1&2 comes out on dvd.

if you know me

and you love me

buy me this.

welcome to the good life

Day in, day out, I work. I hang out with pals. I chill at home. I've pretty much got the routine thing down.

But sometimes....sometimes I take a second to take a look at my surroundings.

And then it hits me. I live here! I live in the City of Angels. In the heart of Los Angeles.

--it hits me when i'm in the office, and I take a walk to pick up something from the printer and I see the hollywood hills roll up on my left, and the beautiful ocean to my right.

--it hits me when i drive to the store, and i cross the streets people write songs about. Hollywood; Pico; Olympic; Sunset, Wilshire.

--it hits me when i'm sprawled on the floor of my candle-lit equinox studio class, allowing "Mysty," the yoga-pilates-core master help me find my so-called inner chi.

--it hits me when i get all dressed up and go to swanky places like the Skybar and the Standard. it also hits me when i am NOT let into the swanky places.

--it hits me when most of the cars in my parking lot are bentleys, jaguars, and rolls'.

--it hits me when i eat pinkberry. everyday.

it's kind of crazy to think that people all over the country, and world even, move here everyday to make it big. Like somehow, this place is going to help them realize all their dreams. Part of me misses SF more than I can possibly explain in words. LA is pretentious. LA is smoggy. LA has a hell of a lot of traffic. LA is no San Francisco.

But part of me is excited about being an official Angeleno. I'm excited about someday telling my kids and grandkids about my young adult life in LA, and hopefully, in some way or the other, about how I made it big here too.

GPITFAD.

I'm in an "everyone can jump off a cliff" mood.
Mad at the world. Mad at myself. Out of nowhere...though it could be because i'm starting to experience what being in a rut feels like. it blows. life sucks. the end.



totally unrelated: it's the parental units' 25th anniversary today. god damn. this means:
1) i am old.
2) they are OLD.
3) they are another year closer to retirement [strangling eachother].


ok back to being pissed off. I think i'm actually going to work out and hope that the endorphins make me feel better. i miss rob & big.

i can't wait for this movie!

my, how time flies

i know, i'm lagging.
trust, i have plenty o' thoughts to share...they're just all on hold in draft-land.

work has been crazy.
life has been tumultuous.

i will be back soon.


ps. sara bareilles. love song.

le shit.

35000+ acre fire

across the street from my house

ay.

afternoon delight

just spent a lovely afternoon in santa monica.

lunch on third street,
and a stroll on the pier.


















damn you l.a., you're growing on me.

do_work

and, steer clear of Reagan's ghost

and, pray that you don't....DIE HARD.

from wikipedia:

Fox Plaza is a 150-metre (492-foot) high skyscraper with 34 floors in Century City, Los Angeles, California, a local landmark. Completed in 1987, the architects behind its design were Scott Johnson, Bill Fain and William L. Pereira. It is 20th Century Fox's headquarters.
The Fox Plaza is the actual building used for the Nakatomi Plaza, a fictional office building that is the setting of the first Die Hard movie starring Bruce Willis. The apparent destruction of the building in the film was accomplished by Richard Edlund using scale model pyrotechnic effects. The building's lobby was also featured in the opening scene of the Keanu Reeves film Speed.
Former U.S. President Ronald Reagan occupied a penthouse on the 34th floor for several years after leaving public office.

Me.

2121 Avenue of the Stars, 34th floor

Los Angeles, CA 90067

i love the 90s

hahaha

pressure.paramore

Tell me where our time went/And if it was time well spent/Just dont let me fall asleep/Feeling empty again/Cause I fear I might break/And I fear I cant take it/Some night I'll lie awake/Feeling empty/I can feel the pressure its getting closer now/We're better off without you/I can feel the pressure its getting closer now/We're better off without you/Now that I'm losing hope/And theres nothing else to show/For all of the days that were spent carrying away from hope/Somethings I'll never know/And I had to let them go/I'm sitting all alone/Feeling empty/I can feel the pressure its getting closer now/We're better off without you/I can feel the pressure its getting closer now/We're better off without you

Feel the pressure/Its getting closer now/You're better off without me

k thanks.

i miss wine country.

is you goooood?

tonight was a yaya reunion. it was gooood.

tomorrow is seattle, for a weekend of fun, friends, and frivolity. it will be gooood.

in short, uncle jerry, i'is good.

over...underwhelmed.

overwhelmed:
-20 ppl in the house. "family reunion." my room, my car, my life...no longer my own. constantly loud. constantly annoying.
-signed lease on new place. paying more than i can afford. move-in date in less than 2 weeks. where did the summer go?
-to-do list has now exceeded two pages. have only scratched off a handful of things, all summer.

underwhelmed:
-not one of my friends is currently in town. am bored.
-when my other email account notifies me of a new message, feel a twinge of excitement...only to find messages from netflix or southwest or element lounge. damn.
-am over shopping. completely. even though spending parental money. have no desire to buy work clothes, shoes, bags, nothing. not even new car. keep putting everything off.


feeling so frustrated, irritated. so apathetic, lethargic. don't know.

i love her.

and now, i'm off to see Harry Potter V with the fam...exciting!!

thanks for making us laugh out loud.

amidst the pretty heavy family shit that's going on right now, laughs are few and far between.

one of the only things that seems to temporarily alleviate a srsly tense atmosphere in the house is an episode of rob & big. my siblings and i laugh until our sides hurt. genuine smiles, teeth and all. even me. so thanks, rob & big. and meaty. and mini horse. oh and of course our favorite, lovable drama. oxymoron? irony? who knows.

apt hunting is a bitch

but i think i found a GEM today. going to rush over on Friday to see it.
As Rob would say, "I am SO pumped right now"


















was definitely lucky with this one. i miss it!

i watched Hitch today. damn it.

this song is absolutely beautiful. it's one of those so romantic it sort-of-hurts songs. if i find an adequate translation (you don't want to hear mine) i'll add it. the video, however, is fucking idiotic. it does the song absolutely no justice. way to go d-list bollywood director.

i have no idea what to do. no preference, no instinct, not even a gut feeling. i'm completely on the fence about what path to take on this one. and more and more it feels like i have to decide, now.

the namesake

I've got a postcard with an old address,
A picture of Houston in a creased-up mess.
Just to remind me that it all went wrong,
Just to beat me up, just to turn me on.

Cigarettes in the glove box, with the classified ads
Ashes and silver worn in to your hands.
"I've got to see you" on a bar napkin,
Gas station quarters, I've got to see you again.

Somewhere there's a letter, that I never sent.
It used to read pretty, now it's empty as
That night in the headlights with the blankets pressed.
Was it something to you baby? Or was it always just

Stray paper
Stray paper
Stray paper...burning in my hands.


-tift merritt
album: tambourine
quite possibly my favorite song.

you go girlfriend....branding superstars

Sharpie...write out loud!

company: Newell-Rubbermaid
agency: McCann-Erickson, New York
-was down in '02, after introducing new campaign in combination with new products and streamlined retailing, sales spiked.


Kashi. 7 whole grains, on a mission.

company: Kellogg's
agency: EVB, San Francisco (Omnicom)
-double-digit sales growth since 2006. woah.


these guys get positioning. and teamwork. and working towards the same goal.
creative advertising and marketing strategy have clashed since the beginning of time. when you think about it, it seems so counter intuitive that we even have agencies. if advertising just occurred in house, advertisers and brand managers would actually work together, having the same level of ownership in the success of the same brand. then again, in-house advertisers are usually not the most clever or specialized bunch. it's a double-edged sword, and very few client-ad teams can pull it off well. i've seen both sides of the insanity, and it's always so excruciatingly tough to get what you want, for both parties involved.

for the agencies, it's like pulling teeth to get more money out of the client. to get some flexibility, leeway, the freedom to take risks. the client wants you to accomplish the impossible without wasting their money or being too "out there." you just want to yell and say LET ME DO MY JOB, I GOT THIS.

for the execs it's like, hello, fact: advertising alone does not and cannot accomplish sales. advertising=awareness & perception, but the rest of the marketing mix: pricing, promotion, distribution, product specifications and needs fulfilled by the product, ensure consumers actually buy the damn thing. So when a brand manager hands a positioning brief and budget to an agency, there is no leeway in it because there are 500 other things involved. it's not what you think it should be, how you perceive it, what potential you think it has. no, as of right now, this is what the consumer wants, we know this, and this is what you have to deliver. and it sucks being an advertiser with so many great ideas for a product, that just happen to not work for that product at the moment. it's restricting, annoying and frustrating.

the biggest mistake any marketer can make, regardless of whether he or she is on the client side or the advertising side, is assuming that he or she understands the mind of the consumer. time and time again market research has pointed out the HUGE discrepancy between what consumers say they want, or feel they need, and their ACTUAL purchasing behavior. actions speak louder than words, and therfore, analytics are gold. brand managers should take the numbers very seriously, and agencies in turn have to respect and utilize the subsequent positioning in order to create the most solid campaign for the product at that given time.

Kashi and Sharpie have got this down. Now Sharpie is an older brand. It has always had the highest market cap in the category, but this was mostly due to a first-movers' advantage, and the brand recognition that comes with that. But since 2003 and Write Out Loud, they've really nailed the essence of their positioning--a rebirth for the brand.
Kashi is a newbie, but a superstar. Talk about excellent market research. After being acquired by Kellogg's in '00, it's seen incredible growth, and the tag SO embodies the positioning it's absurd. Advertising doesn't have to be extremely clever or witty to get the point across. the position that Kashi has in the mind of the consumer is so solid, it will be impossible to knock it for years to come.

so, here's a branding "you go girlfriend" to kashi and sharpie. you guys aren't going anywhere.

so over it...ponte HYPER

annoyed. and not the most coherent.

Ok, it's father's day, and i was a bad daughter today cause i didn't do anything with/for my dad. so i really have no right to be disappointed in others. but i'm more than slightly annoyed right now, and need to vent.

besides, i did redeem myself a bit by making my dad lunch. so i wasn't a complete failure.

sorry, to the point: recently a few of the people i consider very close, if not best friends, have been flaky, disappointing and therefore annoying. when you say you're going to call, CALL. when we make plans way in advance to hang out, don't blow me off at the last minute. not only are you taking our friendship for granted, but you're making it clear that our friendship isn't a priority, cause other things can just 'come up' and easily push our plans to the backseat. i'm not an anal person. i wouldn't usually consider this a big deal. but the friends in question a) don't make any effort to catch up with me on a regular basis in the first place, and b) this is not the first or second offence, we're talking strikes 4, 5....8.

while i was turning this whole situation around in my mind, something clicked. somewhere in the folds of my brain, there is a hierarchical categorization of my relationships, and it suddenly occurred to me that my lump category of "best friends" (how middle school, right?) is actually two very distinct categories. i realized the difference between a truly good friend and someone you just happen to get along with really well.

yes there are the friends you just click with. you can talk for hours, and have no qualms asking for their advice on your most personal problems. you have a great time partying and grabbing meals together, you have at least a thousand inside jokes, and if it's been a while, it's easy to pick up where you left off, as if you just talked to them yesterday.

but with good friends, you DID talk to them yesterday. and the day before. because they call you and you call them without reason. "sorry i didn't have time" is non-existent. friendship takes effort, and good friends make that effort. but the thing is, it doesn't feel like work cause it's just second nature. it's not something you have to plan in advance or add to your to-do list. and every time you talk, you don't have to explain "the whole story" to them because they already know it. you can count on them to drop everything and rush to your side whenever you need them. AND they're damn fun to be around.

there's a level of intimacy, comfort, and loyalty in the knowledge that you're a priority to someone, and that he or she truly has your best interest at heart. one of my best friends does not mind if i'm so busy that i can't touch bases with her until 3,4 at night. she actually makes me call her in the middle of the night to talk rather than wait till the next time we're both free, cause we know that time will never come. it's very selfless and touching when you think about it, and i'm so blessed to have friends like that in my life. currently my two bests are both hundreds of miles away, but we talk nearly every day. to think of them, and how much i value their friendship makes the whole annoyance at the other friends vanish.

it's late, this was long, and believe it or not, i have more to say on friendship. well, comparing friendship with relationships. it's been a think-y weekend. next time.

i love you aep and ocm.

you make me smile, by really getting into the swing

my dog and I used to dance around the kitchen to this song.

i miss her immensely.

my birthday is coming up

anyone want to buy me this?

dress: YSL, Spring 2007 Collection i believe

price: so outrageous no one will publish it

Paulo Coelho, get out of my head.

she thought she would feel happy because she was going home, but she wasn't.
she thought she would feel sad because she was leaving a city that had treated her so well, but she didn't.
the only thing she could do now was to shed a few tears, feeling rather afraid of herself, an intelligent young woman, who had everything going for her, but who tended to make the wrong decisions.
she just hoped that this time, she was right.

-p.c., eleven minutes.

your mom blogs.

so here it is, i'm doing the blog thing.
i'm trying to chalk it up to the fact that i'm entering a completely new stage of my life. that adulthood, and all that comes with it, should provide plenty worth commenting on. real life, new people, blah blah blah.

truth is, however, that for the first time in my life, i'm not a student and i'm not working. i'm bored. so why not divert the time that i spend watching "the hills" re-runs to a better, if not more intellectual, interesting, and hopefully creative cause?

but i'm not making any promises. i very well may come here and start writing deep intellectual commentary on rob & big's methods of mini-horse rearing. feel free to leave then.

but for now, bienvenidos.